Can you smell it? Can you? Nothing is quite as sweet as a fresh blog hot out of the October oven; The rich buttery goodness just oozing with every new grammatical mistake and typo. With a new blog comes a new month, yes calendar months revolve around my blogs now, did you not know that? October, what a waste, I can’t believe that I have to wait 30 whole days for Christmas. And when I say Christmas I mean Halloween, my favorite holiday of the year. The only time of the year that I actually realize that Ricky’s isn’t a gay hair salon. This year we are blessed with 2 days of Halloween, the Saturday night (30th) and the Sunday Funday the following day. I can’t tell you how excited I am for going out all night, sleeping in my costume, brushing my teeth, and going right back out. I move out of my apartment on Monday the first, thus making it my FIRST ANNUAL 3 DAY HALLOWEEN. I may even start wearing it on Friday. Why? Cuz the Blog says so!
Ways to improve Halloween:
Make it a national holiday
Get rid of costume shops (imagine how much more creative people will become, also help to keep the lame people home)
Dudes start dressing slutty
Make it a 3 day holiday (if Hannukah gets 7 days why can’t Halloween get 3?)
Candy corn parade
Last minute Halloween costumes for the lazy: Remember you heard it here first.
Quarter pounder – walk around with a hammer and when people ask who you are put a quarter on a table and pound it (also an excuse to hit Mickey D’s on way home)
Cereal killer – take mini cereal boxes, plastic knives, and ketchup and adhere to your body.
Office space guy – you know, the guy on the cover of the movie that’s covered in Post it notes. All you need is dress attire and a thousand post it
Waiver form – white tee shirt, write waiver signature needed and have people sign you
Braylon Edwards – Fake beard, backwards visor, and tape bananas to your hands.
Athletes or Celebreties most likely to be mentioned in one of my blogs.
1) The Situation
2) Lebron James
3) Braylon Edwards
4) Rex Ryan
5) Daniel Stern (it’s coming)
Little update from the “Office”
Spirit Week.
Monday: Color day. The only problem, spirit week became spirit week that morning, thus it was a failed day. Unless you count stained or dirty as a color.
Tuesday: Sports day. The most popular jersey? Plaxico Burress on the Gmen.
Wednesday: Rock your “Office” gear. Nice attempt, but as the cool kids say on the net, epic fail.
Thursday: Crazy hat day. The only problem, hats are not allowed to be worn at work. Nothing screams setting the tone and rules quite like breaking them. Irrrrooonnnnnnyyyyy.
Friday: Dress GQ day. Ok, I have to admit that one was pretty cool. Totally popped my collar.
Conversation I had with a “co-worker” this week.
Me: You writing your “tps report” you have to make it realistic within your time period
Marty Mcfly: what do you mean?
Me: Well, if it takes place in the present if you want to get in touch with Cynthia you’re going to call her on your cell, you’re not gonna beep her.
Mcfly: Beep her?
Me: You know, like hit her up on her beeper? Page her?
Mcfly: What’s a beeper?
Me: Well, it kinda like a …. It’s used for ummm. You know I am not really sure myself.
That’s how long it’s been, and I owned a beeper in high school….with chain attachment.
I took poll with my co-workers about Team Edward VS Team Edward. When I asked for a hand raise vote for your choice I expected a few “ladies” to shyly admit which team they were on but instead it went something like this:
Who loves Edward? As expected a few shy hands were raised. Maybe I heard a he’s dreamy whispered.
Team Jacob? Eruption. All dudes. Hooting wildly like animals screaming for Taylor Lautner. I had to pull the fire alarm just to make them stop, wait that was 8th grade. When asked why, their response was “He has killer abs.”
Per Simmons, Yup, these are my “co-workers”
Random Tangent Section of the blog:
- Chris bosh looks less like a velociraptor in a heat jersey
- Favre getting “sexty” explains why he mailed in the last 5 games of his Jet career and caused us to miss the playoffs and have yet another collapse. Really Jenn Sterger, you couldn’t let him get in your Wranglers for 5 more weeks? He’s not Cromartie, your not going to have 4 kids because of it.
- Remember when I said I am all in New Orleans, I still am, but my fantasy team isn’t. Those players were jettisoned off my team quicker than a Daniel Stern lead movie in theaters.
- I loved Celtic Pride.
- 1-4 in Fantasy, 3-1 for the Jets. Can the streak continue? All of a sudden I love the Jets chances against Minnesota tonight.
(edit: Yes, the streak continues. I hope I lose next week)
(edit: Yes, the streak continues. I hope I lose next week)
- Staying on the football field. Awesome video regardless of if you’re a sports fan or not.
- This asshole gets first question wrong on want to be a millonare. Did you get it right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0hTmj3f4Zo&feature=player_embedded
- Some history, done Facebook style
This weeks artistic picture for the blog:
(10/7/10 New York, New York)
Aloha means goodbye
- Foxx
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