BloggerLang

Blog Blog Blog Blog BloggerLang

BloggerLang,  take my hand,

BloggerLang, you got me rockin and a reading BloggerLang

My best song parody: nope

My best work: not even close

Funny: not really

Catchy and now stuck in your head: absolutely.

4 quarters ladies and gentleman, 4 quarters, that’s all I am asking for from you today. We covered baseball last week, this time instead of 9 excruciating innings of written diarrhea, I’m only asking for four this time around....new overtime rules apply. 

We are gonna make this a 2 Parter though. Part one

1^st Quarter: “Office” updates

I can’t say work has been all that enjoyable of late, I have 14 new “employees” that were outsourced to my work station, it’s a disaster. It’s like Gus and Call trying to herd horses in dark on the boarder of Mexico without the Vaqueros finding them….or maybe I’ve read “Lonesome Dove” a few too many times.  Well done Larry McMurty.

Of course that doesn’t prevent me from including the ridiculousness that spreads like lice. Speaking of lice, it has spread all over the office. Since I am immature and need stuff to write about I took 5 sugar packets to the dome and went to nurse, because he has intelligence of Simple Jack; He found nothing wrong, how thats possible with a head full of sugar is beyond  me. However, seeing that I actually don’t have lice his diagnosis was correct, thus refuting my previous point about his ability as a nurse and leaving me with egg on my face, which was actually 5 packets of sweet and low in my hair. Maybe he pranked me? As if I couldn’t waste anymore time at work, this prank led to 13 minutes in the girls bathroom getting my locks flowing again. (What? They have the best mirror! And I’m vain) After a heavy dose of gel I was ready to take my company picture, but because I had spent half of day tracking down sugar packets only to subsequently spent the other half washing my hair out, I missed the photographers window by the small margin of just five and half hours. So I photoshopped a picture of Chad Pennington onto my body….classy.

                                                                                                              

A “temp” walked in library breaking every rule possible today. He was wearing a hat, listening to his I-pod, carrying a skateboard, pants below the butt, a cut-shirt, and I think he may have even been drinking a 40. Instead of reprimanding him I demanded to see him do a kick flip.

If you know me, then you know I am an extremely slow walker. I do not walk at a NY pace, more like a Boca Raton, Florida pace. While strolling down a random corridor I listened as a colleague asked her “temps” who liked peanut butter and Jelly? Then when only a few raised their hands she responded with “I can’t hear you” and put her hand to her ear. It was like watching The Rock pump out a crowd back during my WWF heyday.  “Do you like PB + J! Well!!! Do you! I can’t hear you!!! ” Amidst all of the hysterics only a few temps left there seats, but I think I saw a “Jelly 3:16” sign.

Yup, these are my co-workers.

                                                             2^nd quarter

Pull from the archive,  This is my all-cartoon team. I think they could hold their own
against any other collection of cartoon characters. I've tried to stay away from superheroes because they would just be too easy, but a few forced their way into the team with some off-the-chart combine
numbers...



QB: Fred (from Scooby-Doo) natural leader, Captain, and dare is say
another homosexual controvery?

RB: CatDog (the agility of a cat and the loyalty of a dog –
difficult to tackle and will never ask for a trade)

FB: Thomas the Tank Engine (blocks like well a…… train)

WR: Shaggy (just look at those freakishly long arms)

WR: Al Toon (sorry, couldn't resist it, and he used to be jet)

LT: Peter Griffin (bookend tackles)

OG: Fred Flintstone ( quickest feet in the game today)

C: Comic Book Guy (Worst. Swim move. Ever)

OG: Eric Cartman ( great low center of gravity)

RT: Chris Griffin

TE: Puff the Magic Dragon (someone on this team needs to be busted for subtance abuse other than Popeye)

DE: Bruce the Shark (from Finding Nemo, only available for wet
weather games though)

DT: Bluto

DT: Shrek

DE: The Hulk ( only plays on third downs and because of him the team
now has to wear purple)

D line depth is a bit of a problem

OLB: Popeye (after spinach, naturally)

MLB: Bender ( sideline to sideline kinda of guy, needs to be paid in
alchohol, cigars and given the right to steal from anybody in the
locker room)

LB: Simba ( hakuna matada what a wonderful phrase, Simba at
linebacker aint no passing craze)

CB: Road Runner ( also a KR/PR)

CB: Speedy Gonzalez (just don't ask him to come up in run support)

SS: Tazmanian Devil (great interviews after games, and is a living
replica of troy polamalu)

FS: Jerry (from tom and jerry, Very fast, again not great in the
run, but very elusive)

Were a bit small back there, but we have speed


K: Charlie Brown (if he ever actually connects, that ball is going a
mile)
P: Ned Flanders (he looks like a punter)

Head Coach: Bugs Bunny (Franchise needs a face and a quotable voice)

Offensive Coordinator: Elroy Jetson ( young coaching staff,
brilliant minds)

Defensive Coordintor : Stewie Griffin ( wants to kill mother, could
be a great defensive mind)

No.1 Fan: Homer Simpson (too brain dead to do anything else, too
popular to leave off)

Cheerleaders: Arielle, Jasmine, Nala, Pocahontas

Referee: Mr Magoo

Owner: Mr Burns ('I've had one of my trademark changes of heart...
we're moving to Los Angeles'.)


Q: Who beats this team?
A: Absolutely no one.
There you have it, a team built on my ability to remain immature at
the tender age of 27. Now if you dont mind, doug is on tv and i need
my daily dose of quail man.

       --------------------------- HALFTIME-------------------

Go to next post for part 2.

Cool as the other side of a Blog

After a brief respite, The Miami Heat of Blogs is back. If you are reading this you are definitely drunk, have overly tinted windows, or a beard that has its own beard...wait, that’s just Braylon Edwards. Personally, I think the papers have it all wrong. Clearly Bray Bray was only driving because Dbrick and Gholston were delivering twins in the backseat. The windows were only so dark as not to attract attention to the fact that Oprah was delivering Sexy Rexy’s illegitimate child. See guys, always read between the lines to find the truth.

With football in full swing I completely forget that regular season baseball still exists. So let’s take one more trip around the diamond and recap 9 of my least crucial thoughts.

 Great story in the lead off spot this week:

I know a certain family that likes to throw up…I mean like a lot. As always names have protected the innocent. This family lets call them the Cornells, just happened to be in Ithaca for a wedding. Now if you know anything about this family, and my guess that if you are reading this you do, we like to expel our food and drink as often as possible….what? It’s for dietary purposes. The Cornell’s have two wonderful children (edit: 1 wonderful child, 1 child who writes a popular blog) and a litany of animals that also like to regurgitate their food after a heavy night of boozing. I can’t tell you how many times that I have stepped in cat/dog/human vomit over the years, after a while I kinda forgot what the floor looked like. From what I’ve heard about the Cornell’s a couple people are smarter then them, a few cooler, but never both.

So the Cornell family of four took a road trip with their two dogs to the Gorges land of Ithaca (see what I did there, yup I am that talented) for a wedding of a family friend. The only thing you need to know about the wedding is that the youngest Cornell, lets call her Kary, got obliterated out of her skull. Would you expect anything else? You don’t get the name Pukey Mcgee without ruining a bed sheet or four. I am sure the bride looked beautiful, the groom handsome, and the band played a litany of 80’s music, but all you need to know is what happened after.

Kary got sick. No surprise there, its kinda her move. However she happened to throw up in her bed while she was sleeping, in her hair and most importantly all over their two dachshunds that was sleeping with her. Thankfully Papa Cornell, lets call him Wilson, was on the case as always. Having woke up from the sounds of retching he saunters in the room to find two dogs covered in throw up, Kary also covered, and what was left of chicken Cordon bleu on the floor. The dogs jump off the bed, run right to Wilson and start licking his face, then finish off the chicken. Wilson takes all 3 of them and throws them into the shower. The dogs have a nice orange glow to them and are chasing each other in order to lick what’s left of their fur. Wilson begins Brushing Kary’s teeth, and then uses the same toothbrush to take care of the two dogs’ breath. From what I can tell, Kary’s breath was actually worse than the dogs. Wilson then drags her to the couch, puts yellow caution tape on what was previously her room, and goes back to the dogs. Gives the dog’s a shower, which doesn’t make a difference, and just as he is about to dry them off they see Kary’s roommates retarded cat Shorty and book it out of the room. Half covered in vomit, half covered in shampoo and toothpaste they book it through the hallway and right back onto the vomit covered bed. By the way, has there ever been a better name for a retarded cat then Shorty?

Finally, when everything has calmed down, Kary is sleeping on the couch, the dogs in the playground of vomit, Wilson finally gets back into bed with his lovely wife, Madea, and finally settles down to attempt to salvage whatever is left of the night when Shorty comes in.

Since Shorty is retarded he isn’t very graceful he lumbers up the bed, after what I am sure is multiple attempts to climb a bed post before he realized he could jump, and walks over a sound asleep Madea. Madea shoots out of bed and yells “I can’t sleep with this cat walking on top of me all the time!” (The cat had walked on her for maybe 4 seconds, and she had also slept through the entire incident) Wilson simply responds “You have no idea.”

I told you it was a good one, now I expect the Cornell family to never speak to me again. I’m sorry but I had to tell it….Burger King on me next time I see you Kary.

 Batting 2^nd and 3^rd are two very quick but fantastic lines from “My Office”

After spending the better part of 40 minutes banging her head on her desk I asked my “co-worker” why she was doing that. Mind you, at any part during this time I didn’t try and stop her. When finally I decided that it was time to intervene and asked her why she was so violently throwing her forehead into a wooden desk. Her response, “I’m Blocked.” 

You try and figure out what that means, because I sure can’t.

Most of my coworkers have to take some of their work home with them, for arguments sake let’s call it “homework” and I always tell them that they must read for 20 minutes every night. Some of them just aren’t readers so I came up with a system for them. Watch your hour TV show(s) and during the commercials hit mute and read, by the time you finish your program you would have read for the required 20 minutes. Here is the conversation that followed.

McReady: What if you like reading?

Me: Then 20 minutes shouldn’t be a problem.

Mcready: I read before I go to bed.

Me: Ok, me too, what’s are you getting at?

Mcready: When I watch my hour of TV what am I supposed to do during the commercials?

Yup, these are my co-workers. And you know it’s gonna be a good year when during your third day of work somebody has already peed themselves.

Batting clean up is this picture of Greg “The Situation” Camirillo. Fist pumps for first downs, and beating the beat on touchdowns. Then again I seem to find a way to include Sitcho or Lebron in every blog. I used to enjoy The Situation recreationally, but now I think I am totally addicted. If Keisha’s love is a drug, mine is the Sitch Face. It’s a serious problem and I think Laura is worried, you know it’s bad when you’re watching the Dancing With The Stars results show….and you know he has already advanced.

 5^th spot: A great RBI spot, and a perfect time for a video.

Amazing race watermelon launch. Youtube videos don’t get much better than this. I still can’t figure out how it was even possible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cfeTZNcA3g

Little Zen sarcasm batting in the 6 hole:

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night…ever.   

That was an interesting night, totally blamed it on the cat.

Batting 7th: You know your shit faced when you say “I’ve never looked at a map before” while staring at a map. This actually happened…shockingly it wasn’t me. I own a globe.

8: My conversation with a cab driver in Vegas

Me: I love this place, I really do,

Cab Driver: Yup, it’s pretty insane.

Me: Its nut’s but now I see how people can lose your shoes, shirt, all of your money and get stuck here for the rest of your life. Probably become totally dead inside.

Cab Driver: I had 2 million dollars in 1986….now I drive a cab.

Me: Yikes. I’ll get out here.

Finally taking the pitchers spot, a last a few random tangents:

When you rename your fantasy team after Kyle Orton (Snortin Orton) you realize that you may have a little bit of quarterback issue

By the power of Greyskull I will not get sucked into another episode of The League after its Always Sunny lead in.

Before everyone jumps back on Modern Families dick again for season 2 just remember that the original modern family was run out of town for being too funny for its own good.

 RIP Arrested Development, the best show in the last ten years.

This time the Jamaicans are going to win that last race in Cool Runnings. I just know it.

I think KFC may have topped themselves with the Skinwich, its much grosser than the Double down. Although I am proud of BK, the breakfast bowl looks pretty revolting, way to put yourself back in the race.

Mcgruber is in the lead for this years Halloween costume, but the question is it too obscure for people to get.

I spent a good amount of the day thinking about Brett “The Hitman” Hart, not because he was my favorite wrestler growing up, but rather pondered if I would look cool in his classes. After 3 Amazon.com purchases I have determined that no, I won’t look cool.

Bonus Cantos!!!

Me standing next to basketball legend (no?) Greg Oden.

And

This week’s artistic photo

(New York, New York, 8/19/10)

Aloha means goodbye

-          Foxx

Dear NFL, I missed you.

Superbowl or 6-10? It's one or the other.

Well, back to work, and nothing says welcome back quite like an angry mob. Not  being one to madden an already rambunctious mob I joined in. Thanks to a very warm room and free meal though the crowd  was largely sedated and ready to accept our fate. Which was this, we have to work 12.5 percent more than we did last year (yes I did the math) as well as accept  more responsibility for no recognition. Sweet deal. I'm totally in it for the money anyway. (Disclaimer: Not True)  Only a few things can ruin my day: A Jets loss, being told I have to do more work, and swedish meatballs. Swedish meatballs, that seems rather arbitrary. Arbitrary you say? Hardly.

 I think I smell a flashback......flashback......flackback.


Swedish meatballs brings me back to a time when life was a simple and carefree. When I spent my days playing sports and gazing at clouds in order to talk to girls. Good Old Camp Sloane, where the campers sleep in tents and show each other their wee wees. Yup, both these things happened. The same place where Jeff Morehouse broke his arm climbing and subsequnetly falling off a tent, and a kid was  nicknamed Scruffy for not showering for a month, yet not reprimanded. Luckily though instead of looking at boners I spent the majority of my time playing sports and taking cloud gazing classes. How else was I supposed to invite a girl to a square dance? 5 years I spent at Sloane, 3 times took the sport of  cloud gazing, 2 clouds actually gazed, 1 girl spoken too. I like those ratios,  regular Warren G in my youth. During each month that I spent there those five summers (well not "every" summer) I was always leery of swedish meatball day. It loomed  over me like the name Mickey Loomis. I couldn't escape it, because I wanted them so bad.

For some reason I just felt like I loved swedish meatballs. I've always loved meatballs, so I figured a Swedish twist would fit me perfectly. It didn't, I lost my first 3 rounds vs the meatballs, all in successive years. The first gave me a 3 day stomach ache, which I neglected to report. The second time they were

so gross I didn't even eat enough of them to get sick, I chalked it up to them being cold though. The 3rd time I ate them it was raining, and I threw up ten minutes after dinner on the outdoor stairs, but because of circumstances previously mentioned I convinced myself it was weather related. By year 4 I knew I didn't like Swedish meatballs, hated them actually, but I didn't want to lose to a meatball. More than I wanted

Jessica Hedbauvney during the hour of cloud gazing I wanted to conquer this meal.

I didn't.

4 years, 4 successive losses to the swedes. The last one being the

worst of all as it put me in the infirmary for an entire day.. Remember when Michael and Budnick tricked Ug into letting them spend the entire day in the infirmary and they broke open the fridge and eat all the ice cream they wanted. Man that was a great episode, they must have had the best day ever. It was kinda like that...but the exact opposite. I had to wear one of those horrible plastic white smocks and spent the entire
time staring out the window because the TV didn't work. Which suprisingly didnt magically start working when I covered myself with tin foil and hopped around for reception. Nope, instead, I was in a pasty pink room with the ugliest picture of a sailboat, not sailing but tied to a dock, made from one of those yarn stenciled pictures. Naturally the only window in my room faced the sports fields, and watched my friends have fun. I missed my date of destiny because I wasn't allowed to go to square dancing with Flip that evening, and I never did conquer that meatball. Damn. Whoa! We got a little off track there. Well,
that was not awesome to relive, and I won't be attending a certain day in the cafeteria.

A little more about the past two days in the office then back to SYS. My room has never looked more vibrant, I am not sure why this is but my assumption is more generic English posters and I that can open my shades now. Did you know that the sun shines during the business day? Neither did I! I better close them.


First conversation of the year with a "colleague" I will be referring to as Marlon Wayans

Me: What's up Marlon welcome to ____________ you look like a basketball player.
Marlon: That's stereotyping man!
Me; So it is.....you nice?
Marlon: Yeah I'm the shit.



Random Salute your shorts tangent:

- How smart was Sponge? He had the answer to every pickle they ever got

themselves into? He knew every answers during the radio call in contest, the answer

to the cursed skull, and even ran the camp newspaper. I bet he was smart in real

life.

- Why was Dr. Kahn always heard but never shown. This doesn't actually bother

me, what bothers me is why they didn't get a famous voice for it....like Rodney Dandgerfield. You couldn't get a past his prime Rodney to do a voice over?

- Did you know that Donkeylips won the award for best young actor in a cable
series circa 1993. Shocking.

- Why did SYS only last 2 years when Hey! Dude a much more inferrior show last 3. Boggles my mind.

- I can still sing the words to both shows exactly without messing up.....try me.

- Who wins in a SYS VS H!D fight?

Heres my theory:

 Danny is Native American and a pacifist so he goes and gets the cops.

You figure UG cancels out Ted cuz he is a sissy and UG is the only adult left.

Mr. Ernest is just an extension of UG only older, clumsier and even more naive. The boss of the ranch (famous for falling in horse trophs)  you figure gets outsmarted by Sponge. Then Donkey lips sits on him.

Michael and Buddy (Mr. E's son) also cancel out as there frames and ages are similar.

All the girls just watch, mostly because I can't remember who they are in Hey Dude. Although one, Melody I believe, is played by Christine Taylor (Silent fist pump for call).

All the girls except for Brad, what?!?!?!?! Yes, Brad is a woman, and looked like Zena the Warrior princess. This leaves us with the final showdown of Budnick, the youth rebel who claims to have survived Juvie vs the lead horse trainer of the Bar None Ranch who has tamed many a stallion in her day.

I'm torn. Gun to my head though I think I go Brad.

- I put a kids boxers up the flag pole in Camp Sloane a few times. Not that fun.

- Ronnie Pinskey replaced Michael for season 2 for a largely unexplained reason. Then he on to star in a band called Rilo Kiley with the girl from the Wizard. Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy WOODS!!!


- How did they not combine the tale of Zeke the Plumber with an Are you afraid
of the dark Episode?

Random Hey! Dude tangent coming in 3....2.....1.......

No! I'm better than that.


A few last thoughts:

 I have a very vivid memory, imagination and can remember every detail of anything irrelevant.


How far away are we from calling situations "Sorrentinos"? Not very in my very highly esteemed opinion. "Ooo man did you see what happened with Cameron? Dude is in a sticky Sorrentino"


Ive known about this website for a while now but it keeps getting better so I am going to keep pimping it.

http://www.27bslash6.com/       Missing Missy is by far my favorite.



Thank you Revis, Thank you Revis, Thank you Revis!



My artisitic picture of the blog:

Heusden, Holland (Picture taken July 9th, 2010)

Shana tova Jews

- Foxx

Goodbye Summer; Hello New Blog

You know the summer is over when these things happen:
1) It's cold and windy on a Saturday night in New York
2) College football is played on a Sunday
3) People flock to central park like it is going to close
4) Your fantasy baseball team takes a painfully devastating loss to end your season
5) You start liking the prospects of your fantasy football team that much more
6) Brett Favre returns (shame on me, I'm better than that)
7) Staples triples its commercial output
8) Days until Football season and New TV season can be counted on one hand
9) People drink the drift dry
10) The next episode of Entourage will be the finale.


Labor day isn't a holiday, its a reminder. So as I painfully say goodbye to the summer, I rejoice to welcome a new blog into this world. A baby blog for all to see, loaded with the absurdities that is this city and my life. To quote Simmons, Foxx Tackles The City will be a free flowing blog that occasionally touches on mature subjects. No more praying to the baseball gods and worshipping real life god Jose Bautista (It's Pierre Thomas season anyway). No more classy afternoons of water bottle wine, pigeon wrestling, or footsy with strangers on trains. Nope, it's time for a much more settled blog, one with a stable household (and unstable cat) to grow. One that will most likely be Europe and Jose Bautista free, and most likely not Lebron free. And I can almost promise you that it will be filled with Rexual innuendos though. Do we understand what I want to see out of this blog? Now lets go eat a god damn snack!

Did you enjoy that? I had pita chips and Hummus. Nothing gets me fired up quite like chick peas. Ready to blog again? Yup me too.

This multigrain pita chip....I mean blog will focus on the misadventures of my life inside the most famous city in the world. Everything that I find worth blogging about whether be at work or play will be dissected, compared to some sort of pop culture icon, and reanalyzed for your reading pleasure. New York City has a lot of offer, I have none, but I think this blog meets somewhere in the middle. Because of confidentiality reasons (such as I don't want to get fired) everything I mention about my place of business (Hint: They fall asleep in class. Throw ink on each other. Never come in Mondays. And......)* and judging by what I experience on a day to day basis there will be a lot, will have pseudonyms attached. For instance "Pie Man" If your reading this I am very impressed with your custard creme to the face of administration, well done secret friend. I hope you continue to throw your pies in hopes of making Bayside a better place.

*If anybody can figure out the where the quote for my hint comes from without using the Internet I will allow you to choose a topic for me to spend an entire blog writing about. The honor code is present boys and girls, remember your School Ties so I don't have to "pretend that no one cheated? But someone did cheat. Whoever did this has robbed you of your honor. If I ignore it, he will have robbed me of mine as well. I leave it in your hands, gentlemen."

Speaking of Bayside, nothing screams success like having your fearless leader absent on the first day back. I get it though, I hate waking up too. What I will say is this, some of my favorite stories to tell are the ones that I witness there, and I fully expect to enjoy touching them the way Ms. Bliss did. Did that come out wrong? Let me rephrase: Ms. Bliss (IE: Me) touches the children with knowledge through irreverent humor and creative lessons, but never physically touches them, in fact employs a strict no touching policy. Oh, and I spent the last paragraph referencing myself as an adult female.

Random Bayside Trivia:
-One of the degrees in Mr. Belding's office is for Kung Fu. It is above the filing cabinet next to his desk
-Ed Alonzo's last episode was "Save the Max". (irony people irony)
-In the episode "Home for the Holidays," the Santa Claus in the show was credited as Himself
- A.C. Slater's one-episode sister, J.B., was his younger sister in real life.



I spend way to much time on both fantasy sports and movies. Since no one cares about other people fantasy stories (not gonna lie though, I am story inserter perpetrator)I am going to spent the next few lines ranting about my obsession with movies. And it is definitely an obsession. I reference way too many movies in general. I own S.W.A.T. on DVD. I spent an inordinate amount of time playing sophisticated movie reviewer but am appalled at my own taste. My favorite movie is Transformers, which is at best borderline unwatchable. I truly do believe that if you are part of the A-TEAM you can fly a tank. Worst yet,I regularly quote not only obscure lines but also factual errors from The Cutting Edge. Speaking of, in the last scene where Doug and Kate do the Pamchenko it appears to be an impossible move. He was spinning in circles, in one place, when he released and threw her, but in order to catch her, moving away from him, he would have had to have superhuman acceleration and strength! After further review however I learned that not only is it an impossible move but highly illegal The first component of the Pamchenko - the "bounce spin", where the man grasps the woman by the ankles and spins her around - is a highly illegal move in Olympic competition. It doesn't matter though, because "Man and woman together make flower. Douglas, you are stem. Katya, you are petal. Together, we make flower." Go ahead and admit it, you know exactly what the Pamchenko looks like and the scene where they almost kiss at midnight. To sum it all up though, my favorite and most referenced movie period is definitely the 90's, I cry at the end of almost any sports movie, and will find at least one more time to insert a random movie quote.

One Fantasy thought, and I promise only one. I want to start a motion of changing the label of fantasy "Sleepers" In this day in age when everyone has access to the same information readily available in any form of media nobody is really a sleeper anymore. I think we should rename them "BUZZERS" because of all the positive buzz they receive. Is Mike Wallace or Hakeem Nicks really sleepers anymore if everyone loves them? No, they are officially what I am now referring to as BUZZERS.

Example:
Buzzer: Felix Jones
Sleeper: Eric Decker

Example # 2:
Buzzer: Foxx tackles the Globe
Sleeper: Foxx tackles the Cty

Why I decided to keep my writing my blog using one word less each line during countdown:
7: A true story about a real hero
6: To have another website to visit
5: Jets play once a week
4: Bad real life storyteller
3: Freedom of Speech
2: My fans
1: Tenure

I feel like I really have grown this summer though, and I am ready to make some big changes in my life. After 9 seasons of American Idol I've decided to take my talent to the X-Factor (damn, almost made it), I hooked up the surround sound system in my apartment, and I even ordered a new pillow. I feel as if this blog is going to grow too. Nobody knows better than me how hard change is, I am still getting over the mysterious disappearance of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch*, but we all have to say goodbye to things we love. I said goodbye to my most precious possessions this summer, as well as my first bloggy. What I am trying to say is sometimes we need to let go, replace everything with bigger and better things from Amazon, and start enjoying this new blog. And I promise to pull out all the stops that ruins most movie sequels but somehow makes this blog that much better. More Action!!! Cheesier Dialogue!!! SIMILAR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS!!!! Less Pictures!!! EVEN WORSE BLOG TITLES!!!! MORE CAPS!!! IN YOUR FACE FACEBOOK REMINDERS!!!!! More FANS????


*Couple that with the loss of the choco taco, the beef enchirito and the Nacho cheese Chalupa and there has been a decade of broken hearts at the hands of taco bell. Tip: some of these items are still on the menu, but HIDDEN, so make sure to make eye contact, give the secret handshake, blink exactly 12 times and make your order.


And... what about seat belts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and... you know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, (or figure out my profession for that matter) just ring your call button and Tommy here will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you're a......very nice person with supreme intellect.


So come take the leap with me.



Just give it a chance, you know your gonna like it. Enrique does.