Foxx Tackles The City: Happy Blogday to me!

Frank Sintra once said “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.” Well, On the morning of my 28^th birthday I felt horrific. In fact, I would go far as to say I took a gigantic step backwards even if my age clocked over one more year. My mind felt 24, but my body felt 34.Two showers and an early morning call from my mother I realized a few things that morning. First, you can’t fry Cheetoes. Second, apparently you can still eat Cheetoes out of a frying pan. Third, I would have to do laundry at some point that day, and lastly, I watch Macgruber way too much. In my life, much like my blog, I like to wing it, but lets be clear "there's a big difference between winging it and seeing what happens. Now let's see what happens.”

November 21 is a tough birthday to have, many of you probably know it as The Kid, Ken Griffey Jrs. bday, but for me it will always be the day that Tom Robinson was falsely accused of a crime he did not commit.

I can’t sufficiently recap my birthday celebration so I will list in order clues of what may or may not have happened, and you can fill in the blanks.

November 20, 2010 10:30 PM Eastern Standard Time

Champagne party

Chicken Bus

6 30s + 2 bottles of Stoli

My parents

A mini skirt

Derek Selby

A rocking horse

A drum + Maracas

40 cheeseburgers

A Marine

A Burger race (10 won it)

Hulk Hogan Impressions (with shirt rip + all)

Male Kiss

La Bamba

Accidental (or was it?) Boob grabs

Cody + Simon (with normal name screw up)

A homeless man

Vomit

A piano

Frying pan

Cheetoes

Macgruber

November 21, 2010 3:30 AM Eastern Standard Time

As awful as I felt when I woke up on my birthday however, I couldn’t have asked for a better sports birthday to brighten my day. The Jets pulled out a miracle 30-27 win in a room full of Giant fans that became jet fans for the day. You already won my heart Sanchize, and yesterday, I think you won theirs too. Heck, they were doing the Dougie! Everything went right, except for my ability to function in society, in sports that day. Undefeated in every fantasy league, the best Jets victory I could ever ask for, and the most surprising of all of them, I won money gambling. And I’m a guy who likes to play the ponies. Everything was going right, I was even given the last piece of stuffing at the mock-thanksgiving, and then in the heat of the moment I texted Jon Silva. You don’t have to know him to know other than these few facts:

Silva facts:

Great Kid

Rabid Jets fan

Even more rabid texter

I love Jon Silva as much as much the next guy, but 56 text messages later, a change of my text message plan, and learning about his dinner plans (He makes “fucking amazing meatballs by the way”) I can honestly say that this is as close as I will ever come to Sexting to my life….he even picture messaged me.

Jon if you’re reading this: “Don’t stop texting, and never stop texting. That is what gives us hope, this is what keeps us alive.”

One last note about the bday, I set a personal record this birthday wishes this year on facebook. I am not sure if it’s the power facebook or the power of the blog but thank you all for giving me your 13 letters and a click.

Notes from the “Office”:

Its been a slow one recently, too many comedy goalies playing the field, but here is one tidbit that had me rolling.

After hearing the worst rap I have ever heard in my life from a “co-worker” this is the conversation I had with him.

Me: So you like rapping?

Snoop Dogg: Yeah man, I got that flow

Me: You do know that was quite possibly the biggest insult to the African American population since slavery There was no rhyme, flow, beat, rhythm, or melody. Nothing.

Snoop: Hey man, Its hard to rap with braces on

Me: Yeah, I don’t think that was the problem. What do you rap about mostly?

Snoop: Percy Jackson, The Lightening Thief, duh.

Me: Please stop

A week later a video was created and if it didn’t get me fired it would be on this blog. All I can say is that the rap starts with “Percy Jackson…(pause to remember the words)…..cool guy…..(pause again)…..Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoooooaaaaa while using the spine of the book to create a beat. This goes on for a full seven minutes. It is quite possibly the worst form of music ever created, of course that didn’t stop me from dying and giving an A on his latest “worker” evaluation

This will be a Random Tangent Free blog….ok just one

I’ve seen some weird eating habits, vanilla ice cream with bbq chips, ketchup on nacho cheese Doritos, and Peanut butter and mayo sandwiches, but by far the weirdest I have ever seen was this. Green apple covered in…..wait for it….covered in…..salt. Not just a sprinkle either, a heavy dose of it. Needless to say I was intrigued….and now I am not. Don’t do it.

Artistic Picture of the blog