Happy new year all. Hope everyone had a happy and a healthy one.
My resolution: write more, eat less.
My reality: will write less, eat more
Well it was a crazy december, and I am glad its over. The biggest news was of course that I am now engaged to a wonderful and beautiful woman. May god have pity on her soul. Foxx, the partier, morte. Foxx the husband, incipient. Foxx the father, pending. Where,oh, where are the days of the chicken bus? Gone, gone, gone. Middle class morality has finally caught up with me. On the bright side. No more having to buy drink after drink to try and get some action. All I have to do is repeat, Yes, dear, whatever you say. Over and over again until it becomes second nature.
Ill simplify my trip recap into two sections (below) and one hilarous story.
New years eve, my family and I are partying in this grand ballroom where we brought our own liquor since we knew how hard it would be to get drinks. Well my mother, thinking that she sees a bottle of seltzer on the table precedes to slug back the entire contents of what was left only to realize afterward that it was filled with vodka. After gagging a few times from ripping 5 shots of vodka she was annihilated and the dance party was on. 5 minutes after that she was cutting a rug on the main stage for the rest of the night. Yup, she was blitzed.
Things you might be jealous of:
-Lying in a hammock on a beach in mexico
- going ATVing in the mexican jungle
- kayaking and snorkling in Honduras
- sailing in guatamala
- Seeing Dutch Pop sensation, well I'm not even gonna try and guess his name, but the 80 Dutch people on the cruise was loving him
- getting a sweet tan
- swimming in crystal clear oceans
- Going to Belize, which was just gorgeous and Unbelizable (sorry, I couldn't resist). You have to see to belize it (ok, now I'm done).
Things you would not be jealous of:
-7 straight days eating 3 course meals of 2 star food
-Getting sick for 2 days from eating cafeteria quality food
-seeing way to many overweight people in bathing suits
-seeing the movie "grown ups" (youre better off video taping your friends conversation for 2 hours, bc its essentially the same thing with worse jokes)
- losing my favorite hat
- gambled away January rent
-If you really think about it, 80 percent of weekends you have something to do. I know it sounds crazy, but if you break it down it kinda makes sense. 52 weeks in a year. 12 of them go to holidays religious or not (xmas, new years, easter, kwanza, whatever). Another 12 go to family and friend events (weddings :), funerals :(, graduations etc.) Another 10 have big sporting events in them (superbowl, playoffs, march madness) where you get together for. Chalk up another 10 to random events (bar crawls, concerts, marathon, etc) and just like that you have your 80 percent. You could be as popular as Doug Brien (dating myself?) And still find things to do 80 percent of your weekends. Give it some thought now, when was the last weekend where you had absolutely nothing on ledger? Yes, life is fun.
-I think I may start a twitter handle titled "Shit my mom says" based on the verbal diarrhea that has no filter. For example: "Go swim us some more nuts"to the Indonesian waiter at the bar. I know, racist, insensitive, and absolutely hilarious.
- I started a bucket list, and by golly I'm gonna complete all 8 tasks that is currently on it
- I read the atrocious review of the Yogi Bear movie. Supposedly the plot is that Jellystone park is threatened to be closed because of lack of funds, and they have to find creative ways to attract customers and make money. The rest of movie deals with them scheming to save the park, but Apparently a talking bear isn't a rare enough attraction.
- Staying with movies, I am 95 percent sure that Christian Bale actually became a crackhead to play his role in The Fighter
Artistic photo of the blog:
Aloha means goodbye
- Foxx
No comments:
Post a Comment